#TheKJWomanIsGood // The Dainty Pear

By Alexis Baldwin

#TheKJWomanIsGood // The Dainty Pear - Kortni Jeane

 

As women, we ”do good.”
We all have our own ways, our own definitions, our own missions.
Motherhood: it’s beautiful, rewarding, strenuous, messy, invigorating, and exhausting. Pre-maternity, adoption, or any of the many noble ways we become mothers; many pray for motherhood, yearn for motherhood, and maybe even bargain with a deity that they will be the best mom and steward one can be “if you would please just send me a baby, a child.” And then it comes. And somewhere along the way, amidst the vomit, baggy eyes, and blowouts, the magical picture that we once envisioned as motherhood can become a distant memory. Although there is such beauty, importance, and gravity in the seemingly monotonous days as a caregiver, questioning how much “good” we are really doing can become commonplace. It can come in seasons, it can be short-lived, but at some point many can feel the tugs of questioning and doubting themselves as moms.
A few months ago, my then 19-month-old was sad in her crib. Instead of waiting a moment to see if she would fall back to sleep, I decided to get her out and snuggle. I sat her on the couch, felt her soft face, swept her sticky hair over her ear, told her stories, and talked to her about things that matter to her.

Then I realized: When is the last time we looked our children in the face? Not just saw, but presently looked. No distractions; nothing except gentle whispers, smiles, giggles, and studying the curves of their cheeks, the pout of their lips, and the magic in their eyes? Remembering special moments you’ve had. Remembering the pregnancy or the process it took for them to be sitting in front of you. Seeing the little people that they are growing into, and all the potential and goodness they possess.
 
How easy is it to get SO busy, SO caught up in things that need to be “done” that we forget how rejuvenating it is to reconnect with our special and most important connections? Or even further—become frustrated and fall out of love with something we had wanted for so long. Or just become tired. Aren't all moms at least a little bit tired?
 
As kids grow and begin to walk, run, and play, it takes more thought to stop them, scoop them up in our arms, and sit in stillness. It can fill our soul, and infuse us with gratitude and a confirmation of the fact that “we’ve been doing good.” Every parent has their challenges, but sometimes it’s hard to see our parenting accomplishments! And there are so many.
 
We love our kids. There is no denying the all-consuming fire that is the love of a mother. So why is it that we feel we need to “be more?” “Do more?” A mother’s love is perfect. We aren’t perfect, but our love and intentions are. And that is enough. A mother’s influence, love, and presence; their kind and simple gestures, and snuggles on the hallway floor, can impact generations. The more I think about the magnitude of raising 5 little humans, I always come back to the fact that they don’t need much. They just need us to be doing our best. Our “best” can look so different from day-to-day. Some days our “best” may be movies all day as we are tethered to the toilet or a garbage bag, throwing up during a sick pregnancy. Some days our best may be a trip to the park. Some days our best may include tears, and some days our best leaves us feeling on top of the world knowing we did all we could that day to be present. And all of that is good. As mothers, we DO good. Daily. These perfect babies come to us so malleable, and so incredibly generously loving and forgiving. We may feel undeserving, underachieving, or overwhelmed at times, but if we could see ourselves as Moms through the lens of a child, we would be everything. Even on the tearful, vomit-filled days— we wouldn’t just be “enough,” we would be all they could ever ask for. And we are “doing good.”
xoxo,
Sarah

2 comments

  • Jessica on

    I absolutely love this and can relate! All my three kids are off to elementary school and I’m left to what should I do with myself, but one thing I still know is that I want to be there for my kids even when they aren’t home.
    Thank you, Sarah for your words!!

  • Sheri on

    Oh my this is so beautiful and uplifting. I cried and smiled and remembered when my children were babies. Thank you so much. I can’t wait to send it to my daughter who has 3 boys under 4.

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